<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>How I Got to Memphis by kira_khaleesi</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22927663">How I Got to Memphis</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira_khaleesi/pseuds/kira_khaleesi'>kira_khaleesi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based on a Tom T Hall Song, Car Accident, F/M, Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,155</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22927663</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira_khaleesi/pseuds/kira_khaleesi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> “She’d get mad and she used to say that she’d go back to Memphis one day.” </i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Kira's Songfics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How I Got to Memphis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben Solo has always been uncertain. </p><p>Uncertain about himself - his appearance, his personality, his sense of belonging, his future...everything really. </p><p>The solution to this problem seemed obvious: structure.</p><p>And so after high school, he joined the Marine Corps. They provided him with an identity, rigidity and rules that allowed him to forget his uncertainty. For a couple years, he felt peace. </p><p>Then the accident happened. </p><p>He had insisted on driving - of course he had, why didn’t he just let his dad drive? - and the roads were bad. Not bad enough they should have stayed home, but bad enough to make Ben nervous about the other cars on the road. </p><p>The doctors and police that gathered at the hospital later told him that it was a drunk driver. That the car had burst into flames slightly after the collision, and he wouldn’t have survived if his dad hadn’t pulled him from the wreckage. </p><p>They told him that Han Solo had died with a broken leg, 4 cracked ribs, and a serious laceration on his head. Somehow that stubborn git had still managed to climb out and haul Ben to the side of the road. </p><p>Later, one of the nurses told him that when he was first brought in there was a bloody hand print on his face. </p><p>In the space of a single moment, the certainty, the confidence, the sense of self he had worked so hard to craft - it evaporated. Once again, Ben Solo was lost little boy. </p><p> </p><p>Over the next ten years, he threw himself into work running security for a construction firm. He was able to find an identity and structure that he so craved, but this time it was crafted for him by somebody else. </p><p>He didn’t realize until he met her - a vibrant, creative, but deeply lonely social worker - that the life he had may not be the life that he wanted. That he was allowed to want anything at all. </p><p> </p><p>
  <i>”Your dad would want you to live for yourself, Ben. Is this job, this path, really what you want?”</i>
</p><p><i>Ben sighed. “You don’t understand, Rey, I </i>am<i> living. I am-”</i></p><p>
  <i>“-No Ben, this is barely surviving. Snoke treats you like a slave and you’ve just been letting it happen. He’s been taking advantage of your loyalty. You know what they’ve been saying about his business and-”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“-You don’t even know if that’s true, nobody ever proved that it was him tha-”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“-But what if it is true? Is this what you want for yourself?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I...I can’t just throw away everything I have…Rey I’ve given everything I have to Snoke, to his company.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“And look at you, you’re a mess. It’s tearing you apart.” Rey stepped closer to him, putting a hand on his chest, “I’ll help you.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p> </p><p>Ben had made the wrong choice, at first. </p><p>Misguided and hypnotized by Snoke’s spell, he had lashed out. Rey had packed her things. He doesn’t think he will ever forget the disappointment on her face as the elevator door closed between them.</p><p>For a while, Ben thought that that was what he deserved. That after everything, mistakes of his youth, the death of his father, the years working for Snoke, loneliness and loss was his destiny. Then he got a phone call.</p><p>His mother wanted to meet for brunch. </p><p>And so, over eggs and toast and coffee, Ben recounted how he had mucked everything up with Rey - Rey who his mother adored - and expressed his resignation towards his lot in life. </p><p>Leia did not hit him over the head but she might as well have. In her typical stern and commanding fashion, she had scolded Ben and called him an idiot - using more words and far more colourful language. </p><p> </p><p>Two years later, here he is. </p><p>Having left Snoke’s company behind - and anonymously delivered some important files to the local newspaper - he worked temporarily at Organa Publishing. His mother isn’t getting any younger and welcomed Ben’s help around the office. Ben had forgotten how nice it was to be helpful, for someone to want him around. </p><p>Not a day went by when he didn’t think of Rey. The dimples on her cheeks when she smiled, the way she ate every meal like it would be her last, her disdain for clothes that aren’t practical, and the way she would burrow into his side groaning that it was too early every time the alarm sounded. </p><p>With two years to think about it - and having gone to therapy, which really helped - Ben understands why she left. Rey had worked so hard for the life that she had and to be happy with herself, his lifestyle and worldview had been toxic to her. When he didn’t change, she had to go. </p><p>Ben understands. But he still misses her. </p><p> </p><p>About six months ago, he started asking around, looking for her. Rey never had much of an online presence, so there was no reason to check social media. Instead he went by the places she liked, dropped by her office, even contacted her friends. </p><p>They all told her the same thing - that one day she had just left. </p><p>It’s only when Ben sits down with Finn, who says “She just said there was something she had to do”, that Ben knows where she went.</p><p> </p><p>Now, he stands outside a hybrid flower shop and cafe in the heart of downtown - if you could really call it that in such a small city. Tico Flowers &amp; Coffee, the sign reads. Taking a deep breath, Ben walks through the door. </p><p>He waits near the back, watching as Rey advises customers on the right floral arrangement, and helps place orders for events, only stepping forward when there is finally a lull. </p><p>A gentle grin graces her face as their eyes meet, hazel eyes sparkling.</p><p>“Ben.”</p><p>Gesturing around the shop, Ben speaks his first words to her in 2 years: “You always said you’d come back to Jakku, for closure. Did you find what you were looking for?”</p><p> </p><p>“For the most part, yes.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben frowns at her response. </p><p>Rey walks out from behind the counter, taking his hands in hers and smiling softly. “Something’s been missing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Ben looks down to where she is holding his hands, swallows, and takes a step closer to her.</p><p> </p><p>Ben Solo has two smiles. One is the tentative, nervous smile that on a good day is rarely spotted by anybody. It looks like the expression of somebody who would rather not be there. </p><p>The other smile is the smile solely reserved for Rey. His eyes crinkle, and his teeth show. The first time Rey ever saw it she said it looked like pure sunlight. He had politely disagreed and then she kissed him to shut him up. That was a good day.</p><p> </p><p>Rey looks up at him and squeezes his hands. “I’m glad you made it Ben.”</p><p>For the first time in two years, Ben smiles.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Me watching The Newsroom and my thoughts are consumed by Reylo.<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJzDKprFWGY</p><p>might make more sense if you know the song?</p><p>thanks for reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>